No Michelin for Nutmeggers

Today I learned that there are no Michelin-starred restaurants in all of New England except for Boston.  That seems a little unfair, somehow.  None in Connecticut.  None in Rhode Island, either, which, ok, there aren't as many restaurants period, but Providence is supposed to be much more happening these days!  Surely there's something there worthy?  Nothing in New Hampshire, nothing in Vermont, nothing even in Portland (Maine)!  Just a big ol' chunk of not-so-fine-dining between Boston, Montreal, and NYC.

It's not my Birthday; it's not today

But if it were, here are some things that you might purchase for me that do not involve an Amazon wish list:

• A well-built/unusual fidget spinner/toy.  Emphasis on manipulation rather than passive movement; I prefer things that let me/make me move my fingers
• Interesting snacks/candies/condiments/hot sauces
• Kitchen tweezers (like tongs, but much thinner, useful for manipulating certain types of foods) (like these guys https://www.kuchenprofiusa.com/products/tweezer-tongs?_pos=1&_sid=4045e6b8d&_ss=r)
• Crafting kits (like the Woobles crochet kits that are everywhere as of early 2025, or KiwiCo for adults)
• A nice heavy sweater, or possibly a soft scarf.  Tom Baker length is unnecessary and frankly probably counterproductive.
• A bluetooth sheet music page turner, iPad compatible. (https://www.mundtmusic.com/p-24090-irig-blueturn-compact-bluetooth-page-turner.aspx is one example, my stand partner uses it in the PVSO)  I'm a little dubious about this one; I feel like you need the largest possible tablet to really make it worthwhile, and there are some issues with the way music is edited that make single-page display a bit awkward, but it might still be a fun toy.
• A new stylish (colorful, interesting) wristband for my Fitbit Sense
• A whetstone kit; I've never been entirely happy with my electric sharpener

Things that might seem appropriate but that I would prefer that you not buy me without checking with me first:

• Unspecified kitchen gadgets  
• Board games  
• Books

(All of these are things I like, but I'm either trying to reduce the amount of storage space that they take up or I want to own only very specific curated examples.  If you really want to get me something in these categories, please check with me first.)

I'm not back, this is just an experiment.

I look at my phone 
and I notice it's ringing
While my old roof gently leaks

The warranty rep 
says the reports are missing
Still my old roof gently leaks

I don't know why nobody's working
To figure out this mess
I don't know how to get things moving
The roofer's waiting....

I look in the book
For a lawyer who'll listen
While my old roof gently leaks

With every new storm
The carpet gets damper
While my old roof gently leaks
etc. etc.

 with apologies to, well everyone, frankly, but to George Harrison especially and anyone who's just read this.

Not what you think it means

I just discovered the (real) word "galactagogue," and am immensely disappointed to learn that it does not in fact refer to a galactic demagogue.

Oy.

There is a font called "Serif of Nottingham."

Wow.

Gilbert and Sullivan

Gilbert wrote the lyrics (and the rest of the dialog).

Sullivan wrote the music.

That's all I wanted to say, really.  I could never keep them straight--hopefully writing it down like this will help.

I'm not back

I always assumed that Sheetrock was just there to give you something to paint/keep insulation from falling into your soup/keep out bears/whatever, but apparently, it actually serves a structural purpose. It's even load-bearing, although a bit indirectly. By attaching the Sheetrock (or other panelling) to the vertical struts in the wall, you're providing additional anchor points connecting them to each other, and an additional medium through which load can be distributed. If one strut weakened for some reason (rot, an unbalanced load, etc.), and was only connected at the top and bottom, it would eventually buckle and collapse under the strain*. But with Sheetrock there, the transverse stress is transmitted to the other struts along the face. Naturally, the Sheetrock can't handle huge amounts of stress, but it only has to convey relatively small amounts in order to help keep the struts perfectly aligned, in which position they are properly disposed to carry the main vertical load.

*Tall narrow beams do not resist stress along their length terribly well-- try pushing inward on the ends of a piece of spaghetti and you'll get the idea. 2x4s are a bit better than that, but the same physical property still applies.

Source: Cat's Paws and Catapults, by Steven Vogel

My Google Fu is best

Librarians, brace yourselves.

The other day, I had a memory.  I wasn't really sure how it went.  There was a book, you see.  I found it in the public library of my home town, oh, probably 30 years ago, when I was but a wee snapper of whips.

This is the sum total of what I remember of it (besides that I enjoyed it).
1.  It was kind of like Mary Poppins, only the Magical Caretaker was a man instead of a woman.
2.  There was something about soda (or possibly pop) coming out of the taps.
3.  And a bathtub.  Something about a bathtub.  Possibly the pop was coming out of the bathtub taps.
4.  The title was possibly the name of the caretaker character, akin to Mary Poppins.

So, you know, even the things I remembered I didn't really remember.  But I went to Google with various relevant keywords and -phrases ("like Mary Poppins," "magic soda bathtub," etc.) expecting that I would be frustrated and eventually have to ask my Local Librarian (or the several librarian and librarian-adjacent friends I know on FB), set to make the necessary apologies ("No, I don't know what color the cover is.  Sorry.").  And sure enough, I saw lots of articles about Mary Poppins, ads for "Magic Soda Dispensers" and the like.  But I persevered, trying various combinations.  And sure enough-- "bathtub taps soda" (you gotta be specific) showed me (in second place after "9 Bathroom Cleaning Problems Solved | Reader's Digest")...

Mr. Pudgins, by Ruth Christoffer Carlsen.  Not only that, but my local library system even has a copy, and it is winging its nostalgic way to me as we speak.  I retire, victorious.

Bayonet

Today I learned that those little prongs on the sides of the Kitchen-Aid paddles (that slide in and then turn to lock) are officially called "bayonet fittings" or "bayonet mounts."  And that some electrical devices (fuses, light bulbs) are made with them.  They're called that, straightforwardly enough, because that's how you used to attach a bayonet to your rifle.  Not a mount shaped like a bayonet (my first thought), but a mount for a bayonet.

Let me see if I can find a picture.  Oh, never mind, just go to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bayonet_mount.  They've got some good examples.

Frank's TV redux

In 2009*, the Dallas Cowboys put up in AT&T Stadium some videoscreens that measured 160 feet across and 72 feet high.  Converting that to inches and applying Pythagorean methodology, we find that this yields a diagonal size of... 2,105 inches.  Not yet available for home consumers, but still.  Frank would be pleased.

Also note that there are several stadium screens even larger in scope-- The Safeco Field screen is 2,500 inches, and the brand new (more or less) Reliant Stadium screen is a whopping 3,382 inches diagonally (a bit shorter but a lot longer.  Widescreen, donchaknow.).  There's also a race track in Dubai and a speedway in N. Carolina, but I don't have exact confirmed numbers for those, and I don't think it matters enough to track them down.  I'm sure in a couple of years there'll be another bigger one somewhere else anyway.

*"Frank's 2000 Inch TV" was released by Weird Al et. al. in 1993.  16 years ain't too bad to make something this hyperbolic happen.

Partial source: http://stadiumblog.dallasnews.com/tag/guinness-world-records
Other figures from "Bigger in Texas", Caleb Hannan, Wired, October 2013.

OIH

Another post for the annals of Obvious In Hindsight.

Having recently (last weekend) upgraded from my first ever smartphone to my second ever smartphone, I discovered that the old model (which they let me keep, to my vague surprise-- I guess I assumed they'd claim it as part of the trade-in) is still completely functional in every way except for its ability to make phone calls (arguably one of the least important of its functions as far as I was concerned).  So I can still use it as a music player, or game device, or Facebook check-in-er, or video watcher, or TV remote, or whatever just so long as I'm in range of the WiFi.  Which is good news!

The bad news is that it is also just as good an alarm clock as it ever was.  Which meant an unexpected blaring noise at 5:45 this morning coming from the other room because it never occurred to me to turn off the alarm when I switched the phones.

Mole rubbing

Mole fur has no nap.  This means that it does not lie in any preferred direction against the skin.  Presumably, this is useful if the mole has to reverse direction within a narrow tunnel, an act which would otherwise lead to a very bad hair day indeed.  Moles have proverbially poor eyesight, so at least they wouldn't laugh at each other.  It still wouldn't be very comfortable, though.

Fortunately, due to the naplessness, the above scenario never takes place-- moles are immune to this particular social embarrassment, and secure in the fact that it is, as the source article puts it, "...literally impossible for a mole to be rubbed the wrong way."

Source : Discover Magazine; http://discovermagazine.com/2013/september/15-the-urban-bestiary#.Uk7BUNJzHVo

The Wendy Dear

Today I learned that it is possible, although very difficult, to couple an iPhone camera to a telescope free-hand. 

The following is about a mile off-shore, and took me about five minutes to get a shot that wasn't off-center by 0.03 mm and therefore completely useless. 

Sandals

My beloved Tevas finally gave up the ghost after 16 years of yeoman service.  In the course of purchasing a replacement pair (which will prove inferior in every possible way, no doubt.  Sniff.), I learned that I had been pronouncing their name incorrectly for that entire time.  They are not Teeevas.  They are Tehvas.  At least according to the promotional video that the Zappos app had.

News of Eyes

What I learned this morning at the optometrist:

1. Introduction: My left eye is slightly more astigmatic than my right, which is a thing that can't quite be corrected for by current contact lens technology.  Not a big deal, I'm still 20/20 with the lenses, and my actual glasses are even better if I really care.
2. Opening: Cataract surgery has gotten really good in the last few years.  It's often quick, relatively straightforward, minimal recovery time (as in hours instead of days), and in many cases includes as a side benefit the equivalent of LASIK correction.  Getting a cataract removed can actually improve your vision significantly.
3. Development: Cataracts are also being detected much earlier than they used to be, which contributes to the ease of treatment-- the less developed they are, the easier they are to remove.
4. Embellishment:  Cataracts can be caused (sort of) by "trauma to the front of the face."  It doesn't exactly cause them per se, but an impact force on the eyeball can sort of prime it, making cataracts slightly more likely to form later on down the line.  All of which leads to:
5. Climax: I have the tiniest infinitesimalest beginnings of a cataract in my right eye, and even tinier such in my left. Possibly caused (as it were) by the air bag in the car accident I was in in '98, or even the soccer ball I took to the face back in...'87?  Maybe?  Somewhere around junior high.  Although I think that hit more on the left, if I remember correctly-- I seem to remember suffering a cut over my left eye from the beveled edge of my glasses.
6. Denouement: It's basically of no more than academic interest.  My previous OD (since decamped for another office) noted it in my file and didn't even bother mentioning it to me.  The current OD saw it on the file, peered into my massively dilated eyes, and said, "Wow, he was really picky."  Basically, I can easily ignore it for the next a decade if not two.

And now back to work, as my eyes slowly regain their previous pupillite proportions.

Pop rocks

The retro candy confection known as Pop Rocks are made by bubbling carbon dioxide through a solution of molten sugar (mixed with some color and flavorings), which traps the gas as the sugar hardens. It was invented in 1956 as a potential mix-in for Kool-Aid, but didn't work very well and so sat on the metaphorical shelf until the 1970s, when someone had the unprecedented idea of just shoving the damn things in your mouth.  And the rest is history.

The Artist

The musical artist formerly known as The Artist Formerly Known as Prince (who I believe has returned to simply calling himself Prince) is actually named Prince.  His father, one John L. Nelson, was a jazz pianist who went by the stage name of "Prince Rogers" (leader of the Prince Rogers Trio), and gave that name to his son as some sort of blah blah "he will surpass me" blah¹.  Prince, despite the built-in nickname, apparently went by "Skippy" during his childhood².

Sources :

• ¹Hahn, Alex (2004). Possessed: The Rise And Fall Of Prince. (supposedly)
• ²Gulla, Bob (2008). Icons of R&B and Soul: An Encyclopedia of the Artists who Revolutionized Rhythm. (also supposedly.  Both sources are quoted online, but I haven't seen them myself).

Bear with me, there's a milkshake at the end.

Long time no read!

So, stuff.  First, administrivia.  I've been kinda busy lately, what with dog and work and life and broken refrigerators and, well, stuff.  This blog isn't dead-- I have several partial posts backed up.  But they may come rather sporadically for a few more weeks.

Next-- Exercise!  Penn Jillette, on his podcast (Penn's Sunday School), was talking a couple weeks ago about the "7 minute workout" that's the latest fad.  And he was saying how, you know, he's always felt that he'd exercise if he somehow could only do it in less than 10 minutes.  And so he tried it, because he said he would, after all, and then gave up in horror because it was Teh Hard.

But he's a big fat guy, right, and I'm at least vaguely in shape.  Maybe I can do it!  I downloaded one of the free apps to help you through it, and tried it on Sunday.  And here's a useful tip--

When they say 7 minutes?  That's true-- you're only exercising for about that long, depending on variations.  But that doesn't include setup (minimal, actually), or stretching, or convincing the dog to leave me alone for 7 goddam minutes, or the hour or so I spent after my first session sitting on the floor waiting to die.  Seriously, this is a ROUGH routine.  At least at first.  Allot a bit of extra time.

I've done it a few mornings, now, before my shower.  My legs are killing me, but I'm mostly still making it through (tomorrow may or may not happen, because ow).  We'll see 1) if I can keep it up, and 2) if it actually does me any good.

Oh, and I promised you milkshakes!  So-- boil sugar in white wine to make a syrup.  Add a cup of chopped fresh basil.  Steep, strain, cool-- you now have basil syrup.  Cut the kernels off of 2 ears of fresh corn.  Simmer gently in a little water (or, if you're more like me, accidentally burn) for about 5 minutes.  Combine corn, 6 Tbsp syrup, and 8 scoops of good vanilla ice cream in blender, scraping sides as needed.  Voila-- sweet corn and basil milkshake.  Quite good, really.

ETA: Oh, and milkshake recipe is courtesy of Adam Ried's Thoroughly Modern Milkshakes.

Flying Pringles

Most people realize that Pringles brand potato crisps (not chips) are fairly artificial.  After all, it's hard to find potatoes that grow in such a regular shape.  Although imagine if they did-- they'd look like jelly beans. Huge, potato-y jelly beans.

And now I want jelly beans.  Sigh.

Anyway, it turns out that the shape is not just a marketing decision, to make them look like duck lips when you eat them in pairs.  Proctor and Gamble (former owners of the Pringles brand) studied the shape very carefully, even going so far as to run the chips (sorry, crisps) through a wind tunnel-- at least virtually.  The digital models of the airflow allowed the company to redesign their production line to move the crisps through even faster, while keeping them from achieving full lift and taking off like little airfoils, something that would undoubtedly interfere with the manufacturing process.

Source: http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=high-powered-computing-heralds-digital-industrial-revolution

Berbere

In other news, one teaspoon (possibly less if it's fresh) of the Ethiopian spice blend berbere added to a box of brownie mix is a very Good Thing.  Like many spice mixes, the exact contents and proportions can vary, but the one I used was (according to the label), "cayenne red pepper, garlic, ginger, fenugreek, cardamom, cumin, black pepper, allspice, turmeric, cloves, Ceylon cinnamon and coriander."  In that order.