It's not my Birthday; it's not today

But if it were, here are some things that you might purchase for me that do not involve an Amazon wish list:

• A well-built/unusual fidget spinner/toy.  Emphasis on manipulation rather than passive movement; I prefer things that let me/make me move my fingers
• Interesting snacks/candies/condiments/hot sauces
• Kitchen tweezers (like tongs, but much thinner, useful for manipulating certain types of foods) (like these guys https://www.amazon.com/Kuchenprofi-Extra-Long-12-Inch-Tweezer-Stainless/dp/B0000C8T92?ref_=ast_sto_dp&th=1)
• Crafting kits (like the Woobles crochet kits that are everywhere as of early 2025, or KiwiCo for adults)
• A nice heavy sweater, or possibly a soft scarf.  Tom Baker length is unnecessary and frankly probably counterproductive.
• A decent basic wireless gaming controller that works with PCs.  The PS5 Dualsense is supposed to be pretty good.
• A bluetooth sheet music page turner, iPad compatible. (https://www.mundtmusic.com/p-24090-irig-blueturn-compact-bluetooth-page-turner.aspx is one example, my stand partner uses it in the PVSO)
• A new stylish (colorful, interesting) wristband for my Fitbit Sense
• A whetstone kit; I've never been entirely happy with my electric sharpener

Things that might seem appropriate but that I would prefer that you not buy me without checking with me first:

• Unspecified kitchen gadgets.  
• Board games.  
• Books

(All of these are things I like, but I'm either trying to reduce the amount of storage space that they take up or I want to own only very specific curated examples.  If you really want to get me something in these categories, please check with me first.)

I'm not back, this is just an experiment.

I look at my phone 
and I notice it's ringing
While my old roof gently leaks

The warranty rep 
says the reports are missing
Still my old roof gently leaks

I don't know why nobody's working
To figure out this mess
I don't know how to get things moving
The roofer's waiting....

I look in the book
For a lawyer who'll listen
While my old roof gently leaks

With every new storm
The carpet gets damper
While my old roof gently leaks
etc. etc.

 with apologies to, well everyone, frankly, but to George Harrison especially and anyone who's just read this.

Not what you think it means

I just discovered the (real) word "galactagogue," and am immensely disappointed to learn that it does not in fact refer to a galactic demagogue.

Oy.

There is a font called "Serif of Nottingham."

Wow.

Gilbert and Sullivan

Gilbert wrote the lyrics (and the rest of the dialog).

Sullivan wrote the music.

That's all I wanted to say, really.  I could never keep them straight--hopefully writing it down like this will help.

I'm not back

I always assumed that Sheetrock was just there to give you something to paint/keep insulation from falling into your soup/keep out bears/whatever, but apparently, it actually serves a structural purpose. It's even load-bearing, although a bit indirectly. By attaching the Sheetrock (or other panelling) to the vertical struts in the wall, you're providing additional anchor points connecting them to each other, and an additional medium through which load can be distributed. If one strut weakened for some reason (rot, an unbalanced load, etc.), and was only connected at the top and bottom, it would eventually buckle and collapse under the strain*. But with Sheetrock there, the transverse stress is transmitted to the other struts along the face. Naturally, the Sheetrock can't handle huge amounts of stress, but it only has to convey relatively small amounts in order to help keep the struts perfectly aligned, in which position they are properly disposed to carry the main vertical load.

*Tall narrow beams do not resist stress along their length terribly well-- try pushing inward on the ends of a piece of spaghetti and you'll get the idea. 2x4s are a bit better than that, but the same physical property still applies.

Source: Cat's Paws and Catapults, by Steven Vogel

My Google Fu is best

Librarians, brace yourselves.

The other day, I had a memory.  I wasn't really sure how it went.  There was a book, you see.  I found it in the public library of my home town, oh, probably 30 years ago, when I was but a wee snapper of whips.

This is the sum total of what I remember of it (besides that I enjoyed it).
1.  It was kind of like Mary Poppins, only the Magical Caretaker was a man instead of a woman.
2.  There was something about soda (or possibly pop) coming out of the taps.
3.  And a bathtub.  Something about a bathtub.  Possibly the pop was coming out of the bathtub taps.
4.  The title was possibly the name of the caretaker character, akin to Mary Poppins.

So, you know, even the things I remembered I didn't really remember.  But I went to Google with various relevant keywords and -phrases ("like Mary Poppins," "magic soda bathtub," etc.) expecting that I would be frustrated and eventually have to ask my Local Librarian (or the several librarian and librarian-adjacent friends I know on FB), set to make the necessary apologies ("No, I don't know what color the cover is.  Sorry.").  And sure enough, I saw lots of articles about Mary Poppins, ads for "Magic Soda Dispensers" and the like.  But I persevered, trying various combinations.  And sure enough-- "bathtub taps soda" (you gotta be specific) showed me (in second place after "9 Bathroom Cleaning Problems Solved | Reader's Digest")...

Mr. Pudgins, by Ruth Christoffer Carlsen.  Not only that, but my local library system even has a copy, and it is winging its nostalgic way to me as we speak.  I retire, victorious.